Through last night’s Grief Share, I learned that someone’s negligence or cruelty will cause me to be stuck with anger, and resentment. If I hold on to that hurt, it will burden my relationship with God. But no one should be in the way. If I received unreserved forgiveness from God, then I should extend the same to others. Forgiveness will lead to healing.
This topic reminds me of…
- My previous team leader made me feel incompetent. He spoiled those nationals and thought he is right. He got in the way as I’m trying to live my dream in India.
- His coach made me feel incompetent. He sided with my previous team leader and blamed me instead of the dysfunctional structure of the team.
- Local nationals made me feel hard to please, taken for granted, back stabbed, betrayed, and rejected. They got in the way as I’m trying to live my dream in India.
- Colleague who tried to fixed me with good intention.
It’s been 4 ½ years since I left the mission field. I still feel angry, bitter, and resentful. Although I have forgiven them in the past (in my head), I don’t think I have truly forgiven them in my heart. I feel they still owe me apologies.
One colleague apologized a year ago. Another colleague apologized 8 months ago. The organizational structure had changed as well. I felt someone finally understood what I had gone through. And they felt sorry for what they had done to me.
離開美國前的生活點滴 (1)
